Happy birthday, Love

Two years ago, more than 5,212 miles away, her labor pains began. Did her husband rush her to the hospital, a nervous wreck? Or did they pace around the house giddy with anticipation for their first born? Were they worried because it wasn't quite time yet? The baby was coming a few weeks early. I imagine they had the nursery ready. Diapers bought. Sweet little baby nightgowns washed and waiting. Once at the hospital, after enduring the most pain a human body can handle, a sweet baby girl was brought into this world. She didn't know it, but this sweet young mama just gave birth to my daughter. I'll never know if there were tears of joy. I'm almost positive there were tears of confusion and heartbreak as they heard the words 'Down syndrome'. As they were told their sweet babe would be better off institutionalized or adopted, that she really would have no future. I imagine Down syndrome was never discussed. I imagine they were terrified. They didn't know what the future would hold. I also imagine that they truely, madly, deeply loved their daughter. Their first born. They loved her enough to offer her up to another family to love and raise. 

I look at my daughter with her fine, wispy, blonde hair. Her crisp, striking, blue eyes. And so many emotions boil up inside me. I'm thankful for the opportunity to love and parent this child, but I also grieve that I get to love and parent this child. I grieve the loss I'm sure her parents felt as they signed papers and left the hospital empty handed. As they arrived home with no baby girl. Back to a home where I'm sure there were reminders of what they had just endured. Reminders every where they looked. I'm broken hearted for my daughter. That she lived 15 months with out knowing the love of a mother or father. That she endured so much on her own. Babies should never have to be alone. I'm saddened by the fact that her home country is not so welcoming of special needs. My heart is also longing. I long for her biological parents. I long to share truth with them. To show them everything she is capable of. To share love with them. I long to know their hearts. But ultimately, I'm filled with joy. I'm filled with the joy she brings us every day. Filled with joy based on the fact that God knew. He knew two years ago as one mama handed her baby over, that another mama was coming. A mama who would fiercely fight and defend her. A mama who would do all it takes to make sure she will thrive. That she will have every chance and oppurtunity she deserves. 

So, it is today that we celebrate loss and love. Brokenness and redemption. We celebrate the impact that this sweet girl has had on this world in her two short years. We celebrate the possibility of her future, and the fact that we get to be the ones to guide and whiteness her growth.  Today we celebrate sweet Edna Love, her past and her future. Happy second birthday, my little peanut.