*Disclaimer. This post is not meant to be whiny or taken as me complaining. I am a very blessed mama and wife. I've prayed for this life and these kids and I love all of it. In a world where I feel like mamas compare with other mamas, I just want to be real. I often see other moms and wives with more kiddos who seem to have it more together than I, and I compare. So, I'm just setting the record straight for the Boswell Household.*

Being Real? Since Charlie's birth I've had a lot of people ask how we are. Ask how the kids are adjusting. Ask how I'm holding up. And I have two options. I can give the generic, prettier "oh, we're fine" or I can be real. The not always lovely truth. I've opted for the latter. Things right now are hard. I'm surviving hour by hour. Feeling like I'm failing more than I'm thriving. Counting down the min.utes. till nap time. Loosing my cool. Crying for just a few minutes of quiet. Literally, crying real tears. When people say to me "Oh you look great! How much weight have you lost?",  in my mind all I'm thinking is "man, I'd really love to be able to eat breakfast and lunch all in the same day. And eating my dinner while it was warm would be nice too!" Or when people call me super woman. It's almost laughable. If only they were a fly on my wall....there's nothing super about it. I yell. I need grace. I feed my kids lots of pb and j. I need grace. I dread the end of nap time. I need grace. Our house is rarely 'clean'. I need grace. I unload my frustrations on my poor hubby. I need grace. Lots and lots of grace. And I need Jesus. There's nothing super about me. I don't have it figured out. I'm not on top of it. I am right where He wants me, though. In a place of desperately needing Him. Of needing His grace. And I'm so thankful to have a God who provides it.