This trip will forever be the trip that my trust and faith grew leaps and bounds. I will forever remember the way He showed me how much He loves me.that He listens to each prayer.that He is faithful even when all I do is doubt. I've struggled with doubt and unbelief so much in the last few years. Loosing 4 babies in less than 2 years after fervently praying for the Lord to spare them did something to me deep down. A place I would rather not admit I have. A pit of self pitty and doubt.unbelief. Oh, I believed that the Lord was capable of saving any and all of my babes. I, however, was believing that I was undeserving of His mighty works. That I wasn't good enough. Looking back through all the pain, tears, heart ache.break, questioning, doubting, now standing on the other side, I see the miracles He preformed. I see Him stretching me, us. I was never out of His hands. He was bring me to a place that He needed me to be. I, unfortunately, doubted in pretty much every step of our journey to Solomon. Since my earlier prayers hadn't been answered in the way I thought they should have been, I didn't dare think this journey would be different. But one by one, day by day the Lord showed His character. He showed His love through a soft breeze.through mamas here at the baby home.through our judge.through Trey and Solo.through dear friends He placed to be here with me at this time. He's eased my anxieties. He placed the lonely in our family and has provided the child we've been praying for. He now has provided a flight home for us a day earlier than we originally thought. Which means I'll be boarding the plane at 11:30 pm Friday and arriving home Saturday afternoon. But He wasn't done there. Yesterday at the embassy I met a fellow adopting mom. This is her 3rd adoption and is no rookie (unlike me!) She happens to be on the same flight. And she happens to be going all the way to Chicago as well. He's taken care of every detail. He knew how desperately I needed this trip and all it entailed. His love and mercy are covering me. My heart is full of Him. I am forever changed.
